First 90 days of hiring a Nanny:Handbook for Parents

A Guide for Welcoming Your Nanny or Family Assistant Into Your Home

Your Guide to a Successful First 90 Days of hiring a Nanny.

Congratulations on hiring a nanny/family assistant to care for your family and help keep your home running smoothly! The first 90 days are an important time for everyone to settle into new rhythms. Your nanny will be learning your family’s preferences, habits, and routines. With steady communication, warmth, and patience, you’ll build a lasting, supportive partnership. 

Welcome them to set their lunch in the fridge and let them know if there are snacks or drinks they have access to. This is not something you have to provide but it’s a nice gesture. 

Weekly Check-Ins: Keep It Simple and Consistent

Setting up brief weekly check-ins (about 10–15 minutes) helps maintain clear communication. Use this time to review how the week went, discuss any changes in routines, share observations about the children, and address any small concerns before they grow. Asking your nanny if they’ve noticed anything that needs adjusting opens the door to insight you might not otherwise hear. These can be casual but are foundational to a successful working relationship.

Establishing Routines: Naps, Meals, and Play

Children thrive on predictable routines. Work with your nanny to set consistent schedules for naps, meals, snacks, playtime, and outings. If you need to make changes, a simple message like, “We’d like to try naps at 12 instead of 1,” helps keep everyone aligned. Be sure to share allergy info, dietary needs, and family preferences so your nanny can plan accordingly.

Parenting Style and Discipline

Your nanny is an extension of your parenting style. Share how you handle discipline—whether through redirection, time-outs, or positive reinforcement—as well as the tone and values you want in your home. Encourage your nanny to ask questions if they’re unsure. The more they understand your approach, the more confidently they can support your children.

Focus and Priorities During the Day

Be clear about when your nanny’s attention should be fully on the children—such as during meals, naps, playtime, and school pickups—and when it’s appropriate to shift toward household duties.

This particular role includes:

• Folding and managing all household laundry, including adult laundry

• General tidying of common areas and bedrooms

• Light meal prep (especially for children)

• Maintaining surface-level order throughout the day

This role does not include:

• Deep cleaning

• Heavy scrubbing or specialty cleaning

• Professional organizing or seasonal cleanouts

Set clear expectations about what should be prioritized at different times, and communicate openly if needs shift. This helps your nanny plan with confidence.

Communication Is Everything

Clear, kind communication makes your nanny’s job easier and your partnership stronger. Whenever expectations change, be direct but warm:

“We’re shifting bedtime earlier—can we start winding down around 6:30?”

Being clear doesn’t mean being harsh—it’s simply being thoughtful and respectful of everyone’s time and effort.

When Something Isn’t Working: Speak Early, Speak Kindly

If something needs adjusting, don’t wait. Say something early, and use collaborative language to keep the conversation open. For example:

“Hey, I’ve noticed the kids seem hungrier lately—would you mind offering lunch a little earlier?”

“I think it might help if we rework the morning routine to feel smoother—can we brainstorm together?”

This keeps your nanny in the loop and shows you value their insight.

When You’re Home During Work Hours

It’s common for parents to be home while the nanny is working. To avoid confusion:

• Let your nanny lead during their shift unless you’re intentionally stepping in.

• If kids are bouncing between you both, clarify who’s “on” and when.

• Try not to interrupt routines unless necessary—it can confuse kids and undermine your nanny’s authority.

Kids often behave differently with parents nearby. Giving your nanny space to lead helps keep the day on track.

Phone Use and Screen Time Expectations

If you have preferences around your nanny’s phone use, make them clear. For example:

“We’d love for phones to stay put away except during naps or emergencies.”

Likewise, share your screen time rules for the kids—what’s allowed, how long, and any preferred shows or apps.

Handling Illness and Sick Days

Children bring home germs, and it’s normal for nannies to occasionally get sick. If your nanny misses work due to illness picked up from your household, paying them respectfully is a reflection of trust and professionalism.

Mileage Reimbursements

If your nanny drives your children to school, activities, or appointments:

• Mileage reimbursement rate (e.g., the current IRS standard).

• Decide how mileage will be tracked (e.g., notebook, app, or text).

• Reimburse consistently, such as monthly or with each paycheck.

Navigating Family Drama and Boundaries

Your home is a private space. Your nanny will inevitably overhear moments, so keep sensitive conversations and family disagreements out of earshot. Atworth nannies have signed an NDA, but emotional distance is still important for everyone’s comfort. If something awkward happens, acknowledge it briefly if needed—but don’t pull your nanny in or ask for their opinion.

Daily Recaps or Updates

Decide how you’d like to stay informed. Some families prefer:

• A quick text at the end of the day

• Notes on a whiteboard or in a shared notebook

• A short voice memo or verbal check-in

Choose what works best and let your nanny know—clear systems reduce confusion.

Safety and Emergency Preparedness

Before your nanny starts, make sure they have:

• Pediatrician’s contact info

• Emergency contacts

• Any allergy or medication info

• Location of first-aid kits

• Instructions for emergencies (e.g., when to call 911)

• Alarm system details, if applicable

Walk them through your home’s safety basics during their first week.

Final Note

Your nanny/family assistant is here to support your family and your home. Check in from time to time to see if they need anything to do their job better. With clear expectations, consistent communication, and mutual respect, you can build a long-term relationship that thrives far beyond the first 90 days.